Two Stupid (?) Turkeys

There are two turkeys in my front yard. Wild turkeys. We have wild turkeys every year in our front yard. Not as many as we used to. But there will be more than two very soon.

The first year --- no, the first WEEK of the first year we were here, they were cute, novel, interesting. They were the largest bird I had ever seen in the wild. We had a herd of them numbering about 50 or so. I confess, I fed them. Don't bother! - I already paid my penance. They stayed. They never left. They tore up all the grass, nested under my bushes, crapped EVERYWHERE. Landmines overtook the grass and sidewalks. Stink. Big stink. Mud, lots of mud from scratching turkey feet. We have a small front yard with a small crab apple tree in it. They REALLY like the crab apples. They REALLY make a mess of things and they also eat all the birdseed so the quail don't hang around as much. The big mean german shepherds are scared to death of the turkeys. So much for big and mean. Actually the shepherds like what the turkeys leave (ewwww!). If you get the shepherds riled up before you open the door and promise several cookies in return for scaring the turkeys out of the front yard--- they will almost make it off the front porch. Wild turkeys are not so stupid I think. They don't even run now.

Can't shoot 'em. I won't eat 'em. Must get better cookies for the big meanies - better than the cookies the turkeys leave for them. Or I have to get a better aim with the slingshot. Turkeys do not like to be shot broadside with crab apples.